One month

Today was such a fun day (more on that later), which was good, or I may have sat and been swallowed up by grief.  It's now been one month since we found out we wouldn't be taking our baby girl home.  I won't continue to count every month, but one month seems monumental enough to mention!  It's been a LONG month; a month I have no desire to repeat and I pray we won't have a month quite like this again. We've come a long ways, and I definitely know we continue to have so many people lifting us up in prayer. THANK YOU for that.  My mornings have gotten a bit easier, but not on my own strength, that's for sure.

I decided to send a short email to the baby's mom yesterday, on A's 1-month birthday.  I'm not sure why, other than to try to express to her the depth of our love and a glimpse of our grief as well. But mostly we just wanted her to know that they will forever be on our minds and in our hearts.  I know it will fade with time, but this child will always be part of our lives in a way.  And perhaps a teeny bit of my heart was hoping that if she is miserable and at all regretting her decision, that she would know it's not too late.  But I know that won't happen; I just felt the need to make contact once more.  And now I'm done.  I don't expect to ever hear from her, but it was just something that felt right to do.

And so summer continues!  The weather didn't feel at all like summer today, so after Lucas was done with VBS this morning, we got to baking bread! This was a first for me, without the assistance of my bread machine!  Lucas thoroughly enjoyed punching and kneading the bread (as did I!) and we were both thrilled that it rose so well!  While the dough was rising, we went down to the park and rode our bikes together (Lucas is actually begging to ride his big boy bike now...he got the bike 2 months ago but then fell shortly after so has been to scared to get back on).  We got home 3 minutes before a huge down-pour of rain...great timing!  Then we got the bread in the loaf pans and snuggled on the couch while it rose a bit more.  We pulled it out of the oven just in time for supper, and it was amazing! :)

Now it's time to get L to bed, so this is all for now.  Thank you, God, for the joy in each day!!