Most times throughout our adoption journey, I saw the morning as a beautiful thing. If I was feeling discouraged, the morning seemed to bring new hope and new joy! Lamentations 3:23 became my motto:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
And they are still new every morning, but my mornings have been pretty tough! I'm not sure why exactly, but since the morning of May 22 when we woke up and it was still real that we would not be taking Adelaina home, it seems most difficult to feel hopeful in the morning. And that is so not how life usually goes for me!
Today we received the most wonderful card from a friend at church. It said that some days, it's ok to not be tough, some days it's ok to just BE. And that is so how I feel every morning. So I know that it's ok, but it's not a lot of fun! It's hard to get up and get going and it's hard to not be overwhelmed by doubts. So maybe I need to ask for you, my friends, to get down on your knees for me in the mornings, or when we enter your mind, pray that I feel filled with joy all day long! I am also going to ask for an anti-depressant soon to help through the next couple of months; I think that's got to help a bit as well.
I know people expect us to move on, and we have to a certain extent, but this has just really zapped me. So keep on praying us through it!! I am sooo glad I filled our freezer up with meals in May or my family would never eat supper! See, God IS faithful! :)
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