I Am

I have been surprised the last few days that I still have so much remaining grief.  We have worked through so much, and it really did feel like we were moving on.  And we are, but I guess it's good to remember that the pain was so very deep that it will continue to hurt, sometimes at surprising times.  And hopefully each time the grief shows its face, the pain will become less and less.  It's good to remember that I need God every day, every hour. Why is it so easy to just live life and forget how deeply He is a part of every tiny part of life.

At a variety of times the last couple of days, I have been feeling such a huge need to learn how to trust God more.  While I pray for Him to guide me, am I really trusting Him?  Trusting Him with every moment.  Giving Him who I am now, as a woman, a wife, a mom.  And trusting that He will use me as I am now.  And why should I not trust Him?  He is I Am.

At the end of every rainbow 
There’s a promise proven true
No matter how you’re feeling now or what you go through
There will be somebody lovin’ you
Deeper than the grandest canyon
And higher than the open sky
Near enough to capture every whisper, every sigh
Strong enough to hold you when you cry

CHORUS
I Am. I was. I am the one who is to come. Yeah
Before and after, I’ll still be what I am and what I was.
All that you need. All that you want.
I Am.

If you need someone to hold you
Because your world’s fallin’ apart
If you need a light to guide you safely through the dark
And chase away the nightmares of the heart
If you need someone to give you 
A purpose for your broken past 
And restore the reservoir of hope inside of you
And mercies for each morning that is new

CHORUS
I AM. And I was. I am the one who is to come. Yeah.
Before and after. I’ll still be what I am and what I was.
I’ll be all that you need and I’ll be all that you want.
I’m telling you, I am, I’m the rose they crucified and buried
I am ,now I’m risen from the dead.
I am, I’m the lion from the tribe of Judah
I am, I’m the lamb
I am. And I was. I am the one who is to come. Yeah
Before and after.
I’m still gonna still be what I am and what I was
I’m gonna be all that you need and I’ll be all that you want.
I’m telling you I am. I am. 
What you need, what you want, what you what you deeply desire yeah
When you’re lonely and you think that no-one really cares
Before Sarah and Moses, The father Abraham.... I AM